The Dating Game

After a bit of a dry patch with seemingly absolutely no interest in me, it finally happened: I got a date through Match.com.

If you remember back to my last post on dating, you’ll remember I mentioned a few potential matches. This date was with someone new. What happened to the others? Well, after 2 months of chatting — and me asking her out on more than one occasion, as well as having 2 weeks vacation at the same time — the 22-year-old teacher and I had still to meet, so while we still chat a lot I’ve kinda given up on anything happening there. The Ex-Colleague was being somewhat evasive towards me and I felt was toying with my feelings a little, so again, I pretty much gave up there. I do still hold out hope though. So to have someone new interested in me at a time when I was starting to get a little down was great timing.

It started innocently enough — “D” popped up in a search result, I viewed her profile, she viewed mine. I “winked” her (which, by the way, I detest as a feature almost as much as the Facebook “poke”), she winked me, then we started emailing back and forth. I can’t remember who mailed who first. This went on for about a week or so. We would generally chat back and forth about stuff — how our days had been and such. Anyway, I must have impressed D somewhere along the way as she ended up asking me out.

We arranged a late lunch date for the Thursday at a small restaurant in the city centre. It wasn’t the fanciest place, but it was affordable — essential as I was 2 weeks from pay-day, and D is a medical student, meaning we were both on tight budgets.

I’ll admit, I was nervous a hell going into what I was viewing as my first “real” date since the breakup. To make matters worse, I woke up that morning with a migraine, so had to go to the pharmacist to get something to relieve that. [side note: It’s not easy to find migraine relief which is non-drowsy!]

On the positive side, it was a nice sunny day, and I even got a “good luck” message from The Ex!

Standing outside the restaurant I kept checking my iPhone — first in case D cancelled at the last-minute, and secondly, to check the photo I downloaded to my phone so I could pick her out of the crowds (something I am quite bad at with new faces). I didn’t need the picture in the end as I spotted D fine.

She was, if anything, more attractive than her picture made out. A little taller than I expected, and a bit curvier (in a good way), with long, slightly curly blonde hair, ice-blue eyes, and a nice smile.

We seemed to hit it off immediately. There was none of the awkward silence I remember getting at the start of a date, as you struggle to find common ground to talk about. We talked a lot; the waiting staff started getting impatient with us as we’d been there nearly three-quarters of an hour and had yet to look at the menu. We entered the restaurant at 2pm, and didn’t leave until some time after 6pm.

I think we had both initially thought it would just be a first date over a meal and then go our separate ways, but because we had hit it off so well we decided to go for drinks afterwards. The student union (a social space for university students, with a cheap bar) was next door, so D suggested we go there. This was the same Union I had frequented in my student days, so it was interesting to see how the place had changed.

Our intentions were to just stay for a round of drinks or two, but by the time we were finishing up the first bottle of wine the pub quiz was away to start, so we entered that for a laugh. Our team name was “Mix & Match.com”. I answered the pub quiz pretty much on my own (I didn’t mind; I like a challenge). By the end of the quiz we’d consumed two bottles of wine, one round of shots, and 2 pitchers of Long Island Ice Tea.

Where things got interesting was the music round. It was the usual fare – a short snippet of the song intro is played, and you have to name the song and artist. The opening song was “Back in Black” by AC/DC, but D was convinced it was a song by a boy-band. So as you do, we made a wager. She bet a round of shots; I bet a kiss. I was right.

[As far as the quiz went, I came second out of 12 teams. Not bad for someone playing solo!]

By this point we were both more than a little tipsy. I remember we had a quick (drunken) conversation about what we were looking for in a relationship. “Monogamous but non-serious” springs to mind as the consensus. It was still reasonably early at this point, so I walked D to a taxi. Next thing I knew, I was back at her place. That definitely hadn’t been in the plan for the evening!

Before you judge — although we shared a bed, and there was a lot of kissing and cuddling — but that was it.

The next morning D had to go to classes. As we were walking down the road two things happened. The first was a phone call from the Ex to find out how my date had gone; I tried to be coy, but she heard the traffic in the background and figured I’d been out all night. The second was that D and I started holding hands. It was unexpected, but it felt natural, and “nice”.

When it got to where we had to go our separate ways we parted with a kiss, and arranged for me to go to hers that evening so we could get takeaway food, drink some wine, and hangout.

I got home an hour later to a barrage of questions from my mother (the major downside to living at home!) which I explained away by saying I ‘d stayed with “a friend”, but did tell her I was going out again that night, but with a girl, before I went up to my room and slept for a few hours ahead of going out again that evening.

  1. Giddy up! Yay for you! Now I know who to have as my trivia partner.
    The best part for me was the going home and getting interrogated by your mother – love it! How’s the sewing room?

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    1. The sewing room is a little bit more like “home” now, but still doesn’t entirely feel like “mine” yet. I’ll maybe redecorate in the new year, see if that helps. Right now it’s a mish-mash of my stuff laid over the existing furniture.

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      1. So in other words, it’s a single-guy figuring out how to claim back his childhood room…. :-)

        Could really use your skills at Trivia tomorrow night, we’ve lost the last three weeks…I blame my teammates…cuz I can,they’re not here to defend themselves!

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  2. […] Next Chapter Intro Trapped in My Head is a blog about me making sense of life after separation/divorce. It will cover the journey I take, and explore many of the side issues which contributed. It will also cover some of the other major personal issues in my life, from time to time. […]

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  3. Ya know I am probably the last person on earth one would seek out for relationship advice, but I would urge you to take it slowly – by all means, have fun! but don’t plunge into any serious relationship for at least a couple of yrs…
    (Haven’t finished reading yet, but my instinct tells me w/your Ex has already got someone waiting in the wings – that’s no reason to “pay it forward”!)
    Best wishes, Val

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  4. […] I haven’t dated in a while, and while sometimes I think I’d like to, at other times I just can’t be bothered with it. I haven’t seen D in ages. There was something not quite right there and it bugged me. It might have been because the times we did see each other seemed entirely just so she could get me into bed. We still keep in touch, and we wen’t for dinner several weeks ago, but I’ve been keeping her at (friendly) arms length because I don’t want her to get the wrong impression, or be unfair to her. […]

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  5. […] not to say I haven’t dated since my separation. I have, but it’s not really been all too successful. In the last 2 years I think I’ve been on […]

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